Sacred Distance

Its a hopelessly inevitable reality which stares you in your face , Like the sun , The early morning sunshine . . . I m talking about being alive . As someone trapped in a body . A soul … A song .. Something incomplete I felt in me . It was her . My soul in a different body , other than mine . I think , I felt it . My soul . . The part of my soul in a different , beautiful , human form . Was it her .. No it was the morning . It was an illusion . . . Was it love ! Questions . . . Mind was alive and active . It was asking me . . It was wanting . . To know . Why I was .. I N C O M P L E T E

I , ME , YOU . Different forms of yourself to you ! Various forms of myself to me ! We are the biggest personality in our lives . It is always My father , My mother , My brother , My friends . My world . My Cosmos . We are all egoist . We all believe that the universe surrounds us . Well its not wrong , Its not a lie . It is but true that when you close your eyes . The world stops existing as the things you see . That when you die . THe world dies . The universe stops existing . . . . For you ! As what you see it as . You are the something which sees and recognises this world for what it is .. . .. For you !!

This personality that you got . Is the biggest gift that the random and hopelessly chaotic world by accident stumbles upon ! There is no particular reason why you are ! Alive .. and recognise that you are .. Alive . This is always something which is taken for granted . That which is accepted without being asked any questions . For someone who has also been gifted with avenues of material wealth , even dreams as coloured by fulfilled wants and needs .

Until you ask ! ? Until you see ! that you are incomplete

I was told once .. That love is a mirror on which you see your incompleteness .

I am an ordinary day , You are my sun , I am morning only when you smile

I am the silence which yearns to speak and I sing when you speak to me

You are the face of my soul , In my life , My soul , Its depth and its light !

Dont say no . Dont deny me with love ! Walk with me and let me grow

Sometimes you cant make it on your own , You need help to stay alive and see your soul . I know it is her , But she said no . I dont cry , I m not sad . May be not this life , May be not when I am alive , But I know my love is true . I let go . If it is true . It will come back to me ! It is but my soul , It wont let me die … . . . Alone !

Avenues

Please do read this at your own risk .. As suggested by Roy who seems to think Disclaimer should be put before reader get a chance to go through the content .This is not an intelligent blog ! I would not claim that it is beautiful either ! Yet I had to write ..Just to get it out of my head !
Recently I had a conversation with a friend of mine who incidently happened to be female . Usually I have very few female friends .They usually tend to be very offended by my very poor and unimaginative jokes and also the taste of movie and music . And yeah some do persist only due to their temprement which rival that of saints .
Unintentionally our conversation strayed into morality .She was worried to call herself a mallu seeing how her roommates were leading a life devoid of any sense of morality .They apparently came very late at night and had at times not come at all .She sounded like my grandmother in her moral lessons that she gave me that day . And her preference of Groom she said has to be a city dweller or some one who is used to city life.She said she had many friends and she would expect her husband to understand her friendship with these guys (No ironies ..sarcasm here please )
I was reminded of two people .One was Fredrich Netieshe .He was a german Philosopher .He strictly advocated a life questioning all diktats of morality .He questioned and made fun of all of our hypocritic moral and religious outlook of life . Is our love for an individual compromised to any extent just because we are with another individual . Does love demand that we be confining all our imagination,love and life with only the person we claim we are in love with .
He claimed that faithfullness was only a crude tool for sexual selection . You see tigers and lions .They have territory . They usually mate with a lioness and mark their territory with their piss .If another Lion happened to trespass into his territory he had to fight and establish . They defended their territory with claws and life .And if the other lion has won the fight , he would first kill the children of the previous lion . It was a cruel reality of feline social life . But it was a good evolutionary tool for these panthers .This ensured that only the strongest reproduced and passed on their genetic traits to the next generation . This ensured that the next generation of cubs had he strongest genes and their chances of survival was ensured by genetic superiority .
We humans ..our jealously .our possesiveness of things ..friends ..lovers .Marriage .Fidelity and very unfortunately our concept of love too is deeply rooted in this territorial pissings . We too would feel infuriated when our lovers ,friends ,wife , of the opposite sex had a relationship with another human/computer/internet friend what not !! We had fought world wars and killed several lives and ravaged civilizations itself in a feeling rooted in this territorial pissings .We felt jealous and insecure if our neighbours built nuclear weapons .We bombed their city and deprived mothers of their sons and joys just to have enough fossil fuels to foster our sense of well being .We felt jealous of all devloping countries which were advancing on the streets of capitalism . We called them a threat to national security . You see we close our eyes to all these injustices and brainlessness and call ourselves the most advances creatures with intelligence . Nietizhe questioned these very moral triats of ours and proposed free living ..Free living with all its perks and pangs .Do we really need this tools of sexual selection in among us humans with age of internet blogging.We already have enough population .People only think in terms of marriage . trust me Humans will outlive bacterias and dust too . We are now social beings .We need to ensure collective survival of a race ..not individual .We are intelligent enough to ensure that we survive without need to fight with claws and life !We could live as a collective family .Poly family ..A commune .Where sexuality is not exloited as a tool of evolution .Where an entire human life and his incredible intelligence is not wasted thinking about raising a family ..Kids ! Where humans supported each others feelings and cherished this human life they are endowed with .Where no one owned anything individually .Where everything and anything was shared and used for collective human growth . Where people did not own anything and was not owned by anything ..Devoid of religion .Devoid of nations .Living life .Enjoying some sixty odd years that we are gifted with .Without any worries . Where we cherish our planet earth .Where we would discover and marvel our forefathers .and one fine day die a life with feeling of having seen a rock show !
Another charector which she reminded me that day was the Charector of wife in the movie unfaithful . She was a liberated woman .with a really loving husband (Richard gere )Somehow mid life crisis drives her to a lover half her age .They have this affair running .And one fine day she finds her lover with another woman , She is completely broken . She confronts him ..He questions her sense of morality .She was a woman cheating her husband and she questions her lover when he is seen with another woman . Sarcasms of a modern sense of moral justice !

Of course both of them were hypocrites .Netiezshe prophesed a moral free societ yet lived life like a monk .He was even a celebate .I doubt if he was a virgin like me !! And this woman ..Liberated who upheld morality and faithfulness conveniently forget morality to cater and satiate her love ! I respect both .I AM BOTH yet a male too ! A virgin male !
No matter how modern we claim to think , we need to understand that we are deeply rooted in our territorial pissings , Jealousy ,this feeling ..this undercurrent of constant insecurity , where our sense of self is qeustionned constantly by behaviour and life of the one with whom we share our time and space with . Marriage was only a reinforcement of our hypocritic outlook of life .
I heard that man's intelligent and thinking mind is only as thin as Onion's out skin ,Deep inside of that is layers upon layers of evolutionary slumber . He was a lion , donkey and dog at times .All of his poetry , his prose and epic wars were only a sophisticated MASKS of his dull wit !
OFcourse there is always an exceptional human who thought from beyond his human frame .Who questionned this hypocracies .Who threatened and challenged this dwarf and imbecile thinking of our human leaders and religions . yeah he was last seen asking for water in a crucifix . He was poisoned ..killed tortured ..and threatened with Marriage ! At times ..kind poeple thought he was poet and honoured him/her with a booker prize

Humans ..Brothers and sisters of slumber ! I too was one of them . But when I question their stupidities ..our collective dark humour !… Well lets just say that I get my head banged against the bathroom door by my lovely room mates ! I do not make any inference here . No nothing I am implying here .I do not even say marriage and possesiveness is wrong . Only I ask you ..Implore you ..That we atleast aknowlege our hypocracies . Otherwise we would not be different from a blind monkey scratching his loins on top a nuclear weapon warhead ready to destroy life as we know it only because his wife had slept with his best friend

Humans being humans .. Read it completly only after reading the disclaimer ! I dont blame them ..I celebrate them and thank them ..To have gone through this and understood .. ! Thank you for reading this ! Please do leave your comments and views on the same ! And in case you need to bang my head against the bathroom door . Please atleast ensure that its clean ! (I mean my head )

Noise of internal mind

The equivalent of external noise is the inner noise of thinking. The equivalent of
external silence is inner stillness.
Whenever there is some silence around you — listen to it. That means just notice it.
Pay attention to it. Listening to silence awakens the dimension of stillness within
yourself, because it is only through stillness that you can be aware of silence.
See that in the moment of noticing the silence around you, you are not thinking.
You are aware, but not thinking.

Excerpts from Stillness speaks by Ekchart tolle

There is a great joy in being silent if you are not haunted by longings , anger , frustrations , love , lust or even hunger ! Some poets call it peace .It is beautiful , there are no words describing it ! Content .Some get it by doing something they truly love , Gardening , Driving , singing , painting , being with the one they love . Each person must find what they love to do . The satisfaction they get out of it is that of a lessening internal pollution .less noise and more silence it will enable them . For me its a myriad of things I love to do , Reading poetry has been one of them . I love to ride too ! Movement ! Colours , some Vibrant , some soothing ..mostly lively ! full of invigourating charm ! Life is herenow , come live and be silent so others get a chance to live too

The River

From the highest valleys I was born

Tears of god flow in my veins ..

People read their depth ..and called it my own

Anger , silence and laughter too were not mine

Some poets saw their poems too in me ,stories unfold ..yet untold

Lovers entwined their embrace on my shores and called me lovely

Generations ..of pollution and salvations too I contained

They saw a mirror and defined me with what they saw !

helpless I am in this flow ..without shape ..or identity

from the highest to the lowest .. I flow

In a path defined by every step I take

Cold I was.. to the one who was warm ……

And too hot I was for the one frigid !

One million lives ..fishes ,plants and some wild snakes too

Called me their home ,I gave life and took them too

Anger greed envy and love .life death and endless longings

Yet I was none .. and I was all too

A puzzle I was when words graced my ignorance

Without shape or sound ..I let my path shape my colours

It hurts ..but I cried not .bloodless wounds ..silent laughters

Surrendered I was ..to the push and pull of gravity

and rarely ..on a shrine ..to love too I heeded

Sinners and saints ..all grace my heart with equal footings

Procreation and defeacation all gave birth to my elements

Scars and tears of funerals to the flowers of births

Of tender feet of young life to the dead realisation of corpses

From the ignorant to the innocent ..I read them all yet I read none !

Knew it all yet remained ignorant ! Readings lost in sunlight ..

Cold and frozen I am in december ..I would not move or even breath ..

Yet alive is the dead in me ! so I may live to see and flow

On the first ray of morning light ..Sometimes it takes all afternoon

or even days of intense heat .. to help me wake up ..from the deepest of slumber ..

Then I flow again ..carrying memories of frozen days ..

My prayers to flow again was greeted with flowers of spring ..

and graced too was I by the falling wisdom of autumn leaves ..

but I outlived seasons , shapes , and vast infinite expanses

Toward my lover , I flow ..towards her silence and laughter are my journey ..

Only hours .. it has only been hours since I started my journey ..

Yet I seemed to have covered one million eternal miles towards my prayers ..

Towards my very blood and towards my very heart beat !

Wide awake is my lovers hand in entwining me towards eternity

But I was to lose myself and find myself in her ..

In her I was no more ..but with her I was infinitely more ..

She was the death of the ME in me ! and i was born as her !

My memories evaporated in her warmth and i forgot what I tried to remember

We both melted into each other .. River into sea and sea into eternity ..into love ..



Into an icecream !