Avenues

Please do read this at your own risk .. As suggested by Roy who seems to think Disclaimer should be put before reader get a chance to go through the content .This is not an intelligent blog ! I would not claim that it is beautiful either ! Yet I had to write ..Just to get it out of my head !
Recently I had a conversation with a friend of mine who incidently happened to be female . Usually I have very few female friends .They usually tend to be very offended by my very poor and unimaginative jokes and also the taste of movie and music . And yeah some do persist only due to their temprement which rival that of saints .
Unintentionally our conversation strayed into morality .She was worried to call herself a mallu seeing how her roommates were leading a life devoid of any sense of morality .They apparently came very late at night and had at times not come at all .She sounded like my grandmother in her moral lessons that she gave me that day . And her preference of Groom she said has to be a city dweller or some one who is used to city life.She said she had many friends and she would expect her husband to understand her friendship with these guys (No ironies ..sarcasm here please )
I was reminded of two people .One was Fredrich Netieshe .He was a german Philosopher .He strictly advocated a life questioning all diktats of morality .He questioned and made fun of all of our hypocritic moral and religious outlook of life . Is our love for an individual compromised to any extent just because we are with another individual . Does love demand that we be confining all our imagination,love and life with only the person we claim we are in love with .
He claimed that faithfullness was only a crude tool for sexual selection . You see tigers and lions .They have territory . They usually mate with a lioness and mark their territory with their piss .If another Lion happened to trespass into his territory he had to fight and establish . They defended their territory with claws and life .And if the other lion has won the fight , he would first kill the children of the previous lion . It was a cruel reality of feline social life . But it was a good evolutionary tool for these panthers .This ensured that only the strongest reproduced and passed on their genetic traits to the next generation . This ensured that the next generation of cubs had he strongest genes and their chances of survival was ensured by genetic superiority .
We humans ..our jealously .our possesiveness of things ..friends ..lovers .Marriage .Fidelity and very unfortunately our concept of love too is deeply rooted in this territorial pissings . We too would feel infuriated when our lovers ,friends ,wife , of the opposite sex had a relationship with another human/computer/internet friend what not !! We had fought world wars and killed several lives and ravaged civilizations itself in a feeling rooted in this territorial pissings .We felt jealous and insecure if our neighbours built nuclear weapons .We bombed their city and deprived mothers of their sons and joys just to have enough fossil fuels to foster our sense of well being .We felt jealous of all devloping countries which were advancing on the streets of capitalism . We called them a threat to national security . You see we close our eyes to all these injustices and brainlessness and call ourselves the most advances creatures with intelligence . Nietizhe questioned these very moral triats of ours and proposed free living ..Free living with all its perks and pangs .Do we really need this tools of sexual selection in among us humans with age of internet blogging.We already have enough population .People only think in terms of marriage . trust me Humans will outlive bacterias and dust too . We are now social beings .We need to ensure collective survival of a race ..not individual .We are intelligent enough to ensure that we survive without need to fight with claws and life !We could live as a collective family .Poly family ..A commune .Where sexuality is not exloited as a tool of evolution .Where an entire human life and his incredible intelligence is not wasted thinking about raising a family ..Kids ! Where humans supported each others feelings and cherished this human life they are endowed with .Where no one owned anything individually .Where everything and anything was shared and used for collective human growth . Where people did not own anything and was not owned by anything ..Devoid of religion .Devoid of nations .Living life .Enjoying some sixty odd years that we are gifted with .Without any worries . Where we cherish our planet earth .Where we would discover and marvel our forefathers .and one fine day die a life with feeling of having seen a rock show !
Another charector which she reminded me that day was the Charector of wife in the movie unfaithful . She was a liberated woman .with a really loving husband (Richard gere )Somehow mid life crisis drives her to a lover half her age .They have this affair running .And one fine day she finds her lover with another woman , She is completely broken . She confronts him ..He questions her sense of morality .She was a woman cheating her husband and she questions her lover when he is seen with another woman . Sarcasms of a modern sense of moral justice !

Of course both of them were hypocrites .Netiezshe prophesed a moral free societ yet lived life like a monk .He was even a celebate .I doubt if he was a virgin like me !! And this woman ..Liberated who upheld morality and faithfulness conveniently forget morality to cater and satiate her love ! I respect both .I AM BOTH yet a male too ! A virgin male !
No matter how modern we claim to think , we need to understand that we are deeply rooted in our territorial pissings , Jealousy ,this feeling ..this undercurrent of constant insecurity , where our sense of self is qeustionned constantly by behaviour and life of the one with whom we share our time and space with . Marriage was only a reinforcement of our hypocritic outlook of life .
I heard that man's intelligent and thinking mind is only as thin as Onion's out skin ,Deep inside of that is layers upon layers of evolutionary slumber . He was a lion , donkey and dog at times .All of his poetry , his prose and epic wars were only a sophisticated MASKS of his dull wit !
OFcourse there is always an exceptional human who thought from beyond his human frame .Who questionned this hypocracies .Who threatened and challenged this dwarf and imbecile thinking of our human leaders and religions . yeah he was last seen asking for water in a crucifix . He was poisoned ..killed tortured ..and threatened with Marriage ! At times ..kind poeple thought he was poet and honoured him/her with a booker prize

Humans ..Brothers and sisters of slumber ! I too was one of them . But when I question their stupidities ..our collective dark humour !… Well lets just say that I get my head banged against the bathroom door by my lovely room mates ! I do not make any inference here . No nothing I am implying here .I do not even say marriage and possesiveness is wrong . Only I ask you ..Implore you ..That we atleast aknowlege our hypocracies . Otherwise we would not be different from a blind monkey scratching his loins on top a nuclear weapon warhead ready to destroy life as we know it only because his wife had slept with his best friend

Humans being humans .. Read it completly only after reading the disclaimer ! I dont blame them ..I celebrate them and thank them ..To have gone through this and understood .. ! Thank you for reading this ! Please do leave your comments and views on the same ! And in case you need to bang my head against the bathroom door . Please atleast ensure that its clean ! (I mean my head )

Parented by love !

Homegrown
Today morning ,on my way to office...i saw someone ..who had arrested my attention in that busy juncture where everyone was cursing everyoneelse for doing whatever they did .The one thing about children is that they are all universally attractive . Only when they turned adults that ugliness is born and grown . May be it has to do with all the pollution and its accumulation ..Emotional pollution .. pollution of intelligence ..chemical and physiological pollution .. all have their roles in making trash out of that beautiful flower . i felt a very helpless desperation in that childs face . A look so sad that i had all the rights to burn down the entire universe for having created such empty sadness as i could see in that childs face .

There was a thousand and twenty three things i had to do in my office , i still remember how my fondness for my manager was raped by her ugly angry self nakedness. I just could not bear to have my work unfinished by even ten minutes . I had to reach office in time at anycost if not for anything ..for my peace of mind and the satisfaction of reading about unexpected before your gossip mongering collegue did . I revved up the engine ... but the empty silence i saw in that angel seemed to have made all these thoughts silent along with that of the sounds of chaos . I had frozen and decided to get off the bike and spend some time observing that child . Although i had very uncomfortable time adjusting to the potential of reaching office a bit late , i just could not make myself leave that place . I did not know what to do .

She must be only some 12 years old ..just younger than my neice .In my home my parents had always complaining about how my Neice was always not eating enough . Fed on a staple diet of Cadbury choclate and lays chips .. ordinary food had losts its taste to her growing taste buds . she was intoxicated with cartoons . Totally lost ..and equally cute child of my sister was a very big comfort for me in that lonely home .Beside sheni she was the only one girl that i totally fell in love with ...

But the kind of grace i saw in this child who was standing like a violation in that chaotic road was just too serene to resemble anything i have seen ..felt or could imagine ! i felt like crying out of guilt .. for being alive in a world which could make that child so desperate .. so dirty .. and so filthy in that hot sun .Had she her breakfast . I could see the bones of her face giving them a clear symetry . I just filled petrol for my bike costing atleast some 500 bucks . Shit why did i even use a fucking bike man .. while my angel was out here in road ..dirty .. fucking bastard me !!

i ordered a tea in that stall where i used to smoke every night after a long day .I suddenly saw something ..which made me feel the same way that i used to feel when i get Sheni s call .. the effervessence of happiness slowly returned to my depressed skull ..She was smiling .. infact laughing .it must have been her father .. He dressed like a beggar .but he had a grace in that face hidden in that thick bush of beard . i was sure it was from him that the girl must have got elements of charm which had me bearing the risk of uncomfortable language from my managers ..I stood there feeling thankful to that individual whom i really wish was her real father .. for making me feel less guilty of my Apache RTR and that 500 bucks i spent on fossilized energy .! i had immediately bought a cadburys the same brand that i used to give to my niece .. i had bought two and ran towards the child , She was holding her father s hand .. i felt like touching that guys feet out of respect and awe.

She did not even look at me when i gave her the choclate.. May be she was intimidated.. I have never been very popular for my looks anyway .. But as i was moving towards my junk of tyres and petrol tank , I could feel her happiness ..in my relief ..

Zipping past me was that girl in the office .. Oh my god .. she was not going in the bus.. I really made quite a sound revving up my engine . Hey babe .. wanna ride! i felt relieved to be back to my normal ..animal self !! Divine is so deep man !! phew (sheni being and exception though! )